What does Nine of Wands mean in love?

Guardedness from previous hurt: testing a partner rather than trusting them.

The testing is usually unconscious and is genuinely difficult to be on the receiving end of, because it cannot be passed. Each test met produces another one, and the person setting them is not enjoying it either.

Reversed, walls that are now the obstacle rather than the protection. The card is gentle about the distinction: the defences were built for a reason that was real, and outliving that reason is not a moral failure.

As somebody's feelings, it reads as interested and braced: something is felt and is being protected against, probably on the basis of an earlier experience that has nothing to do with you.

Resilience. One more push. Wariness earned by experience.

You are closer than you feel, and your defences are appropriate rather than paranoid. That second clause is the card's real contribution, because somebody in this position is usually being told they are being difficult.

In an advice position it asks for one more effort and acknowledges the cost of it, which is a combination almost no other card manages.

Depleted past the point of usefulness. Paranoia, or refusing help you badly need.

The refusal is the characteristic version. Somebody who has held a position alone for a long time develops a real difficulty accepting assistance, partly because accepting it would mean admitting how bad it has been.

Sometimes, and this is the good reading, putting the guard down at last, safely. The card allows for the possibility that the thing being braced against is over.

Upright: resilience, persistence, wariness, last stand, fatigue

Reversed: burnout, paranoia, refusing help, giving up

• What am I bracing for, and has it actually happened?
• What help would I accept if asking were not a failure?